Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@typhlosion @janellecshane Do you want Skynet? Because this is how you get Skynet.</mallory_archer>

@LexYeen@snouts.online Thank you! Honestly, I have a suspicion he's gonna be fine, and this would not be the first time I've played Helicopter Cat Parent over a minor health problem!

I lured him in with a little food, gave him a good petting, and had the best look I could at the injured pawb.

He's hesitant to put any weight on it, but not totally refusing to touch things with it. And he didn't react at all when I gently petted the area just above it, so I don't think it's a leg issue or anything.

No sign of an infection, blood, or massive swelling, at least at a glance. So I'm hoping he just got a little bumpie and needs a couple days.

I think if he's still limping by Sunday night, we spend Monday looking for a mobile vet or asking the local vets how to best transport an injured kitty.

Sigh. Dammit Shemp. I'd do anything for you. Just LET ME DO IT. I wish I could just ask you what happened.

Shemp won't put any pressure on his front paw, and I'm all worried. He wouldn't let me pick him up to have a look, either, and I'm not about to force him.

I didn't see a massive obvious wound or anything so I'm gonna hope it's something he can recuperate from on his own in a couple days. It's good thing alleycats are resilient little buggers, but he's mah buddy and I still can't help but worry.

Otherwise, I guess we start looking for mobile vets, because there's no way we're gonna get him in a cat carrier. *sigh*

@001zlnv @Austin_Dern Horns, chest, and loins, baby.

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv I used to play like that, until Shaka showed me The Way. >:D

today's #moodsnapshot courtesy of the Flaming Carrot

@Phorm This is the first time I've been genuinely sad I left Birdsite, because if it's THAT easy to prank these goddamn bots... :D

@troodon I should hassle @anthracite to draw Full-Blown Martian Manticore Rezy in those poses.

@001zlnv I mean, I used to come in lime, but that flavor got discontinued in 2016. =(>).(<)=

Heh. Angry red plastic raccoon. Does exactly what it says on the tin.

@Soreth Think of it as an investment. =(^)______(^)=

@Leucrotta Oh shit, my hunch was right. Postmodern hypostasis is an actual thing!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypostasis_(literature)

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I can't help noticing nobody got me the power to decide who lives and who dies for my birthday, and I know I asked y'all about it. It's been on my wish list for years. I love you but do better next year.

(If Crow T. Robot still has it and there's only one, it's OK. He can have it. He's done more than me to deserve it. And um frankly he probably has a higher WIS score. ​ )

I feel like by watching this show, I've discovered the first magickal key that unlocks Trump's America. And I'm putting it down on the ground very slowly, running, and never coming back. Jesus Piggin' Christ, I think I'm gonna watch Adventures of Gumball for the rest of the night. >_<

And now they're lecturing a mother who killed her son's bully about how "high school is very difficult for some kids, but eventually it's over." And that line damn near spelled a 10-yard flight for my laptop.

Not if you're a cop, apparently. You get to play the bully for years and years and years. Motherfucker, I hope your personal afterlife is just being kicked in the crotch hour by hour by people who got scarred for life by that dismissive "nothing that happens to teens matters" shit.

Smug Cop to his "perp," a bouncer who accidentally rolled an abusive drifted down a hill to his death: "Treating a human being like garbage is not a job, it's a choice."

Me: *makes Donald Sutherland in Body Snatchers shrieking noises while trembling and pointing at this side of back bacon who's treated innocent witnesses like garbage because "it's his job" for four straight episodes*

Gil Grissom, giving advice to two forensic specialists trying to destink themselves after leaving the morgue: "Lemons. Use lemons."

Me: "Ah, mais oui! Le jambon, c'est meilleur avec les citrons!"

@Leucrotta At first I read that as "postmodern hypostasis" and I was like, WOW, what the fuck kind of cop show is this?! :D

For example, one of Our Heroes to his coworker, investigating a murder in a high school:

"Which one were you in high school? A jock or a brain?"

Me: "I'm pretty sure I dissected a fetal you in AP Bio, actually."