Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

I want to invite this guy over for beers some night. I'm amazed one of Grant's crowd hasn't tried to rehabilitate him.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flag-Smasher

#comix

I should've gotten next-day shipping on that stuffed tiger. I want a ravenous destructive minion NOW!

Or maybe I should just stop looking at the Internet for the rest of the day. -_-

Everyone in the Amazon reviews loves my new tiger friend, but are a little concerned about the fact its head is inexplicably filled with slightly hard styrofoam, not soft polyfil, unlike the rest of it.

I, personally, am delighted. My new friend will have a nice bonky head, the better to ram into bankers at 40 mph. It'll be even better once I install the sound chip that roars, "ECONOMIC VIOLENCE BEGETS PHYSICAL VIOLENCE! EAT BANKERS EVERY DAY OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE!"

OK, after half a dozen attempts and blatantly ignoring the instructions on their website, I finally got my giftcard to work. Apparently Steam and Amazon both have low enough standards to accept a card with no ZIP registered? -_-

I didn't know what else to do with it, so I bought two games and a FUCKING TIGER.

If anyone could recommend a suitably anti-capitalist name for my new FUCKING TIGER friend, I would be delighted. Would it be appropriation to call her Phoolan Devi? Or maybe Dillinger.

#moodsnapshot https://awoo.space/media/V_MESbCEeIXggIeC_GI

KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.
KILL TIMOTHY J. SLOAN.

Fucking sick of getting unusable giftcards with glitchy-ass registry sites from fly-by-night corps making more goddamn money off of deliberate inconvenience and obsolescence, especially while pasty goddamn conservative pundits squawk in my ear about the virtues of hard work and meritocracy getting these motherfuckers where they are

clone me 1000 bluehaired buzzcut transgender robespierres & let me arm them with machetes and a bus painted WELLS FARGO HQ OR BUST

Counterpoint:

"All magic is totally fake, and it works 100% of the time." -- Jeff "Magnus" McBride

"Magic is just completely fake. It's just another word for lying." -- Penn Jillette, on the random Space Ghost episode that popped up on my playlist

Yeah, you slick conceited asshole. But if you're gonna play those games... so is "literature." So is "culture." Fuck, you probably know some biology, Penn: so is "human perception." All "lies"-- useful, vital ones.

This is a classic example of how a rationalist can be totally factual and completely fucking misled at the same time. -_-

I found my holy grail of obscure, ill-conceived tv:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRW1Z187Ki4

I've been looking for this steamer for 20+ years.

I support the #GetOnMyLawn movement, I suppose, but I'm also not conceding #GetOffMyLawn as an appropriate sentiment for millennial overreach... or jort memes. ;p

Guess I'll have to use both...but if this ever results in any Mastodon user being held in a state of Schrödingerian quantum superposition on my lawn, I will NOT be held accountable. I'm not getting up at 3 am in the morning just to observe you. *shakes cane* >___<

(Lousy no-good paradox makin' kids, I'll collapse THEIR waveform!)

@Ulfra_Wolfe @mawr @zebratron2084 @Oneironott @indi @KawaSeadrake @adeptomega @neonNeptunian (and anyone I missed!):

Dr. Marid would like to have a word with you about your unauthorized treatment of one of his patients... https://awoo.space/media/9gFgqskoV7G_FRucREs

(That word is apparently "hrrrwarrrwroowawrr," which translates as "thank you for your timely concern and assistance but his treatment should be well in hand from here." <3 )

#prognosis: #rawr

jesus fucking christ, fuzzies, when the hell did care-a-lot get icbm's? i feel like i've been hit by a love nuke

Thank you. I'm in tears here. <3

More elaborate thanks coming later tonight if I have time. I have to arrange props and secure the consent of certain professionals in my area. O:)

@mawr​ @Oneironott​ @Ulfra_Wolfe@witches.town​ @KawaSeadrake​ @acetone_kitten​ @Draekos​ @thefishcrow@cybre.space​ @adeptomega@octodon.social​

Used to have this rule of thumb: if I dream about something for a whole week, time to do something about it.

Fortunately, heavy THC use (shush, you should see how fucked up I was BEFORE I started) usually stifles my REM sleep just enough that I don't have to care, but... Ohio.

I think this is the first time I'm explicitly telling my dreams "I know, I know, fuck off." I don't wanna hear what my brain thinks. Its brokenness got me into this shit. -_-

(It's... gonna be like this all week. That's just how the holidays are for me these days. Torn between not just two, but three worlds this time, one of which I was explicitly requested to get the fuck out of. Fair warning. Only reassurance I can offer is that I always come out of it feeling much better and grateful as fuck to be back in Seattle, with my actual friends instead of the angry doppelgangers of them in my subconscious.)

Dipshit, the content warnings don't work if you still click on them. You know seeing it upsets you, you know just Being Stoic about it doesn't work. Step the fuck away from it, asshole, until you can manage some shred of compersion and just be second-order happy about it. And put down that cookie, shithead, a cookie is not breakfast. You suck, you fragile asshole. You suck. You suck. You suck. You suck, that why you're not part of this...

i'll be okay -- my bedroom in my parents house at 2 am is basically the total perspective vortex and right now a whole room filled with me is a pretty unpleasant place to be. it's better to tag this to keep it away from innocent eyes and just lance this gross thing still lingering between my ears, hopefully once and for all.

also i've been having some great nightmares lately, not fooling, so maybe i'll get a good therapeutic one tonight -- see ya in carcosa <3